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Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil

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This is our take on universal pain oil. It doesn't just soothe pain, it cleanly knocks it out!

EFFECTIVE FOR:

Lumbago

Neck Pain

Headaches

Hip Pain

Ankle Sprains

Chest Congestion

Knee Pain

Arthritis


Brilliant Customers. Brilliant Reviews.

Nobody Yet...
Since this is a new product, we literally have no reviews at the moment. But, with our track record of making legendary pain relief products, we're sure this will fill up with stars fast!
 
 

Die From Natural Causes, Not Toxic Chemicals

We're making healthcare in a can, people!


Brain Food About Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil

Get the pain reliever with knockout power! This is the topical pain relief cream for athletes.
What is a universal pain oil?

Universal pain oil, or universal oil, is general term for a medicated topical analgesic used globally for quick, temporary relief from minor aches, pains, stuff noses, and things like headaches, muscle soreness, insect bites and stomach issues.

Universal pain oil usually consists of ingredients such as menthol, methyl salicylate, and camphor for a warming or cooling sensation.

Universal pain oil, or universal oil, is general term for a medicated topical analgesic used globally for quick, temporary relief from minor aches, pains, stuff noses, and things like headaches, muscle soreness, insect bites and stomach issues.

Universal pain oil usually consists of ingredients such as menthol, methyl salicylate, and camphor for a warming or cooling sensation.

What is the story of Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil

Way back in 2024, a really, really, really geeky guy decided that he wanted to make a powerful medicated pain oil that was strong enough for top-tier athletes.

Using the knowledge he had gained from creating a successful pain relief balm, he knew that making a medicated pain oil would be a piece of cake. And, it was!

To lead the rest of the industry, he used the highest quality natural & organic ingredients for his pain oil because he didn't care about shareholder value. He only cared about helping people heal.

His name was Grandmaster Fu. His image will forever be screenprinted on t-shirts and hand towels around the world.

Way back in 2024, a really, really, really geeky guy decided that he wanted to make a powerful medicated pain oil that was strong enough for top-tier athletes.

Using the knowledge he had gained from creating a successful pain relief balm, he knew that making a medicated pain oil would be a piece of cake. And, it was!

To lead the rest of the industry, he used the highest quality natural & organic ingredients for his pain oil because he didn't care about shareholder value. He only cared about helping people heal.

His name was Grandmaster Fu. His image will forever be screenprinted on t-shirts and hand towels around the world.

How do I use Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil?

Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil is a topical medicated oil. It works only when applied to the skin.

There are 3 techniques that people have when using topicals:

- Set & Forget - Apply Uppercut Oil to target area and let it work.

- Rub it In - Massage Uppercut Oil into the target area to help circulate blood and improve penetration of the balm.

- Hot/Cold - Apply Uppercut Oil to target area using either of the above two techniques and then apply a heating pad or ice pack.

Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil is a topical medicated oil. It works only when applied to the skin.

There are 3 techniques that people have when using topicals:

- Set & Forget - Apply Uppercut Oil to target area and let it work.

- Rub it In - Massage Uppercut Oil into the target area to help circulate blood and improve penetration of the balm.

- Hot/Cold - Apply Uppercut Oil to target area using either of the above two techniques and then apply a heating pad or ice pack.

How quickly does Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil work?

Our skin is a semi-permeable membrane. Absorption of Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil depends on multiple factors.

For the fastest absorption, you'll probably want clean skin with open pores...like right after you shower and dry off!

In most cases, though, Uppercut Oil should give penetrating pain relief magic in 30 minutes or less!

Our skin is a semi-permeable membrane. Absorption of Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil depends on multiple factors.

For the fastest absorption, you'll probably want clean skin with open pores...like right after you shower and dry off!

In most cases, though, Uppercut Oil should give penetrating pain relief magic in 30 minutes or less!

My whole body hurts! Can I just bathe in Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil?

Well, if your whole body hurts, you may have some systemic issue that may be causing inflammation. We recommend looking into your nutrition first and consulting your physician.

But if you just did 8000 burpees the day before, that's a different story. Uppercut Oil can help with DOMS, but we don't recommend bathing or overuse of our products.

We do NOT recommend more than 2-3 applications of Uppercut Oil per day.

Even though Uppercut Oil is natural, it is still potent! Use wisely and consult your physician if necessary!

Well, if your whole body hurts, you may have some systemic issue that may be causing inflammation. We recommend looking into your nutrition first and consulting your physician.

But if you just did 8000 burpees the day before, that's a different story. Uppercut Oil can help with DOMS, but we don't recommend bathing or overuse of our products.

We do NOT recommend more than 2-3 applications of Uppercut Oil per day.

Even though Uppercut Oil is natural, it is still potent! Use wisely and consult your physician if necessary!

Do I have to be an athlete to use Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil?

In short, no. Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil was designed for athletes. But, what does that mean? It means we created an extremely clean, all-natural & organic pain cream for pro athletes to use, especially those who compete at the highest level and get regular USADA drug tested.
Basically, if you care about clean, drug-free solutions to pain relief, we got you!

In short, no. Battle Balm® Uppercut Oil was designed for athletes. But, what does that mean? It means we created an extremely clean, all-natural & organic pain cream for pro athletes to use, especially those who compete at the highest level and get regular USADA drug tested.
Basically, if you care about clean, drug-free solutions to pain relief, we got you!

Who's face is on the Uppercut Oil bottle?

That is the face of Grandmaster Fu, the inventor of Uppercut Oil and the Battle Balm brand.
The label is a throwback to the ancient Chinese liniments and salves that used photos of the product inventor to link a face to a brand for quick identification and brand recognition.

That is the face of Grandmaster Fu, the inventor of Uppercut Oil and the Battle Balm brand.
The label is a throwback to the ancient Chinese liniments and salves that used photos of the product inventor to link a face to a brand for quick identification and brand recognition.

Why is Battle Balm® so darn legendary?

We could write a whole book on why, but here's the skinny:

  1. We are real. No BS. No marketing hype. Just real people making real products with real ingredients.
  2. We use what we make. We are IN the business of natural pain relief. We're not shareholders trying to make a buck. We do this for a living.
  3. We care about your health. The healthcare system is so broken that most people are giving up their power to heal to corporations exploiting them. We are trying to remind you that you and your body still have tremendous healing potential. You just need to unlock it.

We could write a whole book on why, but here's the skinny:

  1. We are real. No BS. No marketing hype. Just real people making real products with real ingredients.
  2. We use what we make. We are IN the business of natural pain relief. We're not shareholders trying to make a buck. We do this for a living.
  3. We care about your health. The healthcare system is so broken that most people are giving up their power to heal to corporations exploiting them. We are trying to remind you that you and your body still have tremendous healing potential. You just need to unlock it.